Top 10 Ways Bruins Fans Can Celebrate the 2011 Stanley Cup Win
(The Top10 list is meant to be humorous. Do not attempt these acts.)
10. Write a hand-written letter to the Flyers, thanking them for rolling over in the Eastern Conference semifinals. The break was just what the Bruins needed to take down the Lightning and Canucks.
9. Go around your neighborhood, let out all the air in your neighbors’ tires and pump them back up. Pump them back up real good. That’s right, “pump those tires” and send a picture message of it to every goalie in the NHL – you don’t want to upset anyone, especially in that goaltender union.
8. It’s summertime, so go pool hopping! Forget about cannonballs or jackknives, do your best impression of your favorite Canadien diver.
7. Take it easy and watch Thelma & Louise, aka Daniel & Henrik!
6. Buy a bunch of hats and send them to Roberto Luongo. He apparently really, really loves hats — more than he likes helmets?
5. Go to Nathan’s Famous Hot Dogs and order “A Horton.” If the server doesn’t give you 18 dogs and a high-five, leave immediately, go to the next Nathan’s and try again.
4. Find a Canucks fan and show him a good old-fashion Andrew Ference fist-pump malfunction.
3. Join a boxing gym. Grab a speed bag, draw a wispy red beard and a No. 22 on it and pull a “Marchand.” Warning: there’s a good chance that the speed bag will hit back before a Sedin would.
2. Hit up a Salvation Army or Goodwill and find the most ridiculous 1980s or 1990s Bruins jacket and wear it with pride.
And one number one way Bruins Fans can celebrate the 2011 Stanley Cup Win…
1. Go to UVM and kiss the feet of the Tim Thomas statue outside the Gutterson Field House. What’s that? There isn’t a Tim Thomas statue there yet? Fine, go to UVM and make one and worship it every day until they do it again next year.
OR JUST JOIN US AT THE PARADE ON SATURDAY!
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